Regarding The Unsexiest Woman Alive

  Okay so this is pretty old news. (Does that make it olds?)

I realize that I’m behind the times, but as I just heard about this I feel the need to vent.

I’m sure that you’ve heard the buzz by now and that your co-workers and friends have torn this subject apart.

Perhaps you’ve joined in on conversations and added your 2 cents.

Or maybe you’ve added a whole quarter.

I only hope that your conversations haven’t succumbed to the level of Maxim.

It really pisses me off.

I mean who are they to make the calls on who is “sexy” or “unsexy”?

I understand that Sara Jessica Parker may not be pretty in the traditional sense, whatever that means, but she is beautiful.

Traditional is boring anyway.

Who wants to be Barbie or look at her all the time?

Obviously – and disappointingly – a lot of people, based on Maxims Sexiest/Unsexiest Woman of the year contest.

But I’ve got news for Maxim: unsexy is not even a word. So there!

Is it any wonder why so many people in this country have self esteem issues? What do you expect when you have these magazines trumping who is considered sexy (“Looking like this is GOOD!”) and who is “unsexy” (Don’t look like this! It’s bad!).

The truth is that a large percentage of the population does not look like Barbie. (Thank God.)

Does that mean that most people are “unsexy”?

No – absolutely NOT. There are so many sexy people out there who are not sexy in any traditional sort of way. And to me that’s even sexier.

It seems like all you have to do for Maxim to consider you to be sexy is get some implants, dye your hair and slather on some face paint. They seem content with the deception of perfection. But I wonder if they would be disappointed if we were to pull the masks off of their beauty queens and take away their plastic parts.

I bet they would be. I mean look at Britney Spears. Years ago she was loved by Maxim. Today they’ve moved her into the ‘unsexy’ category. They claim that the reasons why are her 2 kids, 2 ex husbands, slight weight gain and “losing the ability to perform” (Quoted from here.)

But I’m willing to bet you that the main reason why is the weight gain. If she still looked like she did when she was 18, and perhaps went out and got the next size boobs, I don’t think that her personal life would matter much to Maxim. She probably would have made it onto the sexy list.

For once can we have a list of the sexiest woman using REAL people? No movie stars and no makeup allowed? No fake boobies? Just REAL people.

Why not? Why is there this need to wear makeup and lie?

I’m sick and tired of seeing the same fake picture perfect people. It gets old.

I prefer seeing REAL human beings – people who are not “perfect”.

They are the sexy ones.

Why Jack Black Sucks Donkey A$$

  I’m sure that there are countless reasons why Jack Black sucks, but what I specifically want to rant about today is how he completely ruined ‘Be Kind Rewind’.

Gondry make a BIG mistake by casting Black.

Okay, I’ll admit that Jack Blacks acting wasn’t the only thing wrong with this picture. It’s true that there were many large, rotting plot holes, but those holes would have been a lot easier to overlook had someone (anyone) other than Black been in the spotlight.

The main problem that I have with Black is that he plays the same character in every movie that he stars in. This wouldn’t be so bad if that character were actually somewhat likeable. Instead he appears as a highly annoying, over dramatic and seemingly retarded guy time after time.

Is it really acting if you’re pretending to be someone who is identical to yourself?

So why did I even bother going to see this movie if I hate Jack Black so much? Because I knew that Gondry made it. I can guarantee you that if this movie were made by anyone other than him I would not have made a trip out to the theater to see it. I probably wouldn’t have even rented it.

Honestly the description of the movie alone (and knowing that Jack Black was one of the main characters) had me alarmed from the beginning. But being that Gondry made the film, I thought that there was hope. I thought that he must have known what he was doing. I mean he is the genius who came up with such great films as ‘The Science of Sleep’ and ‘Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind’ after all. (Both of which rank in my top 5 movies ever list.)

While I assumed there was a good chance that ‘Be Kind Rewind” would not surpass Gondrys previous works, I thought that it would at least be mildly entertaining and filled with nifty artsy bits. And while there were a few eye pleasing moments (such as a Godzilla costume made using a toy truck as the face, a car made out of a bathtub and a Robocop costume using a hairdryer as a gun) there were far less than I had hoped for. Definitely not enough to make it worth seeing.

If you haven’t seen ‘Be Kind Rewind’ yet and you are planning to, you can count on being highly disappointed. The movie lacks….a lot. And I’m a big time Gondry fan. I don’t know what went wrong (asides from Jack Black). It’s clear, from previous work, that Gondry is a highly talented individual. He has done some wonderful stuff, but for some reason this movie is sub standard.

Whatever his reason was for making a shitty movie I can look past it and realize that all humans are flawed – we all make mistakes. And sometimes they are really big ones. He’s still a genius and I will continue to look forward to any future work that he will come out with. But for the love of God he had better not make another film with Jack Black, or anyone close to being that annoying. I mean really, he mine as well have cast Lindsay Lohan or Paris frigging Hilton for that matter. I probably would have actually liked the movie better had he done that.

Personally I would rate this movie 1.5 out of 5 stars. Had I not been with a friend I would have walked out of the theater.

My advice is – don’t waste your cash.