Letter to a Friend

  What do you do when someone that you know is hurting because they have recently lost a loved one? How can you help them through their pain? Can you help them?

I know the pain of losing a parent and because of my experience I feel deeply moved whenever I hear of someone who has gone through a similar loss. Even if I don’t know that person particularly well.

I can’t help but want to lend a hand, or an ear.

I don’t know if it is ‘wrong’ to do so, but I can’t stand to see someone in pain and therefore must write this letter to a ‘friend’.

Dear (name intentionally left blank to protect the identity of said person),

It was GREAT to see you the other day. You’ve been on my mind A LOT – I often wonder how you are doing.

I’ve wanted to write you a letter for some time now, but I’ve hesitated for fear of crossing any boundaries that you might have. The last thing that I want to do is upset you or make you uncomfortable. That is not my intention by any means.

Please know that I am writing to you sincerely from the bottom of my heart.

The main reason that I’ve wanted to write to you is because I understand – at least to a certain degree – what it is like to lose a parent. When I was 17 my Dad passed away – I was standing by his side when he took in his last breath. That was 8 years ago, but in many ways it still feels like yesterday. I still cry hard at times.

Because no 2 people are exactly the same it makes sense that we all grieve differently. I have no idea what your ‘style’ is, but I know that for me there are times when all I want to do is share stories/memories about my Dad. Sometimes it is helpful for me to talk about him with others.

You’ve always struck me as the type of person who has a million and 95 friends, so I’m sure that you’ve got any and all of the support that you man need and/or want. Nonetheless, having been in a somewhat similar position myself, I want to offer, I want to offer you my ears if you ever feel like talking or reminiscing.

I understand that aside from our interactions at (place of employment) we really don’t know each other all that well, but for me there are certain people who instantly warm my heart and make an impact – you are certainly one of those people. So while as far as details go we may not know each other well, I feel that we are in some way a part of the same family.

I want you to know that I am here for you and I want you to know that I truly mean that.

Do not hesitate to call, email and/or write. And, on the other hand, know that I will not be offended in any way, shape or form if you do not contact me. I myself am a very private person and can understand the need and desire for space.

All in all I wish you the BEST in EVERYTHING. You are such a warm person and a joy to see. Know that you radiate beauty into the lives of those around you.

If I do not hear from you I am sure that I will eventually bump into you in the street and I look forward to that. As my Dad used to always say, “I love to see you come, hate to see you go.”

Take care and know that you are thought of often.